A Dance

“Our first dance,” he noted as our bodies came together.
She smiled up at him, “I’ll try not to step on your feet.”

Their hands laced together, skin so smooth and young, fingers easily finding their way between each other. She looked down at their feet when his eyes became too bearing. They moved seamlessly together, no awkward stepping on each others toes. Their perfect harmony was caught by those around them, as they too moved together. Her dress moved in time with her, moving like waves and he was the wind controlling how high they’d rise and fall. And higher they rose as the tempo increased, the music reaching a crescendo, both hearts pounding. She was looking into his eyes again. They were like magnets. He had been looking into hers the whole time, he was drowning in them.

He dipped her, elegantly, their mouths so close. He’d never dipped anyone in his life, just saw it on movies and saw how girls would swoon in reaction. Indeed, she blushed, glancing down at his lips for a brief second before being gently pulled back up. The waves were calming now as the music drew to a close, yet the storm was only just beginning.

They moved away from each other, politely bowing and sharing a smile.



A little white lie.

You can never trust someone who lies so easily. Even if it’s a little white lie, the fact you know they’re capable of lying straight to your face without hesitation proves they’ve done it before. And they’ll do it again. Little lies lead to big lies and big lies lead to fallouts and pain and loss. What is the point of lying?

He asked himself this a lot over the past weekend. His best friend had lied to him since he first met her. She told him she’d had cancer. That turned out to be a lie. Why the hell would someone lie about something massive like that? The answer to that was to probably gain pity from peers, meaning they always kept close, always looked for validation from her. Made her feel needed. The fact of the matter was though, he was actually a decent person. So if she had just established to friend to normal way – with mutual interests – instead of lying about having a terminal illness, they’d probably still be friends.

She’d also lied about her Auntie dying just the other week. He’d been there when she was in tears over it, bawling out her eyes because her auntie was who she was closest to in the world. Another lie. There wasn’t even an Auntie. She was making it all up. Maybe she had thought the pity for her cancer had died over time and needed some way to keep the established friendship. Keeping a friendship was as simple as going for a coffee together. But alas, another lie. He had to face her today after those lies. She couldn’t be avoided, they sat together in almost every lesson. Maybe he could be the bigger person and forgive her. She didn’t deserve it but the only other option was a silence full of tension.

He got to class ten minutes late only to find her seat empty.


Coffee Shops

There she was. Sat in the corner booth, typing away at her MacBook. The typical Monday morning scene in the quaint, little coffee shop. Her eyes were bright – almost sparkling as the sunlight caught them- with ideas desperately waiting to be poured out onto the screen in front of her. Her small hands were moving at lightning speed across the keyboard. Every week I noticed her.

Every week she was too absorbed in her imagination to notice me. Maybe today would be the day I finally introduced myself. No. I couldn’t do that. She was too beautiful – extraordinary – for the likes of me. Plain, boring me with a stable life and a stable job. I was the type who longed for adventure but was too cowardly to cease the moment. Her though, you could tell by her mannerisms that she took every opportunity to cease the moment. She was unfiltered, obviously didn’t care about how society wanted her to be. She didn’t fit into a box. Her looks included. Her hair was a different shade almost every time I saw her. Ranging a shade lighter to a full 180 on the colour spectrum. Me? I had a hair appointment booked the same time and day each month. I valued routine those who were close to me would say. Though, so must she since I found her here sitting in the same spot with the same drink every week.

She must have been thinking up something particularly delightful since she bit her rosy lip to keep from giggling too much out loud as her fingers moved with more vigour. This was it. I was going to do it. Man I was nervous. Before I could think about it I was approaching. I hadn’t been this nervous since my driving test. But then this was a whole other type of nervous. This was stomach doing flips because fuck, she’s biting her lip again nervous. Finally I reached her table. She still hadn’t noticed me, still smiling wide at the screen.
“Refill?” I asked handing her, her usual order.



Hood up, eyes down, stick to the plan.

It was 3am and I was only just approaching the pick up point. I was already half an hour late. Shit I hope they were patient. Drug dealers don’t tend to be patient I doubt though. I passed through the entrance of the park, a streetlight made the skin of my sweating palms look ominously orange. I could see a group of dark figures ahead. That must be them. I can’t believe I was going through with this, alas he needed me. My husband needed me. I did take a vow, to care for him in sickness and health. Well if this was his version of ‘caring’ through his illness then so be it.

I got closer still and faces started to become visible. One approached me.
“I’m here for my husband. He said you had our money and I’m here to collect it” I stated him, wringing my palms together, picking at my chipped nails.
“You’re very late,” is all the man said in reply. A Spanish accent I detected.
“I’m sor-sorry I got lost you see and I-”
“Not good enough. We told him 2.30am and it is now 3.05am. Of course we had to discipline this kind of tardiness before it became a regular thing. So here is your punishment” he said and moved to the side as did the rest of his ‘gang’. As they moved a body was revealed. I felt the blood drain from my face as I realised it was the face of my brother. The world stopped. It felt as though I had tunnel vision. All I could see was the body. Suddenly all fear drained out of me. The heavy weight of the gun tucked in my jeans became present. I forgot he gave me that gun.
“There’s your money girly. Don’t be late next time,” the man blew me a kiss, throwing an envelope my way whilst his men retreated laughing.
The world ran in slow motion from this point on. My hand moved as a blur as I brought the gun into view. The men were facing away from me, they didn’t know what was about to happen. There were five in total. I pointed the gun at the middle one.
Four. The others started to turn. The gun moved slightly to the left.
Three. The men had hold of their own weapons now. They were starting to raise them. The gun moved to the right.
Two. No more time for quick easy shots. I had to move. The two remaining men both fired but I had already dived to the side, landing on my forearms and rolling to a standing position again. The world slowed down further . Gun raised again.
“BITC-” One.
Bang. That wasn’t my gun. Then the pain hit me. I looked at my shoulder in disbelief as I felt the fabric of my tattered hoodie become saturated with sticky blood. I raised my head again just in time to be punched in the face. I fell backwards gun still in hand. The world moved slower still. As I fell, my gun raised and –
My head hit the pavement first, my ears started to ring,. I had eliminated the threat. I was safe. Unless I bled out first. No. I had to get back to my husband. He had no one else to look after him. But he could wait for a while, I thought looking up at the dark sky. I just needed a minute. I was so tired. Fuck, I thought as I let my eyes close.


Camp Fires

The camp fire roared as they added gasoline to it. We really needed that gasoline to get back but I wasn’t so inclined to mention that fact since everyone seemed so happy in the moment.

It was like one of those cosy scenes from a movie – a group of misfits, sat on logs, roasting marshmallows, wrapped up together in blankets. I felt so content. Nothing else in the world mattered apart from these group of people. God I loved them. We were a misshaped family – like a jigsaw left with jiggered scars. Sure we had our fights, some I’m not proud to say I was the instigator. But that’s the thing about family – you fight then you make up.

I inhaled, taking in the smell of burning wood. In the future, every time I smelt that smoky smell I’d associate it with this exact moment. When everything in life was good. No thoughts of the responsibilities that loomed over us like monsters ready to eat away at our souls. No. Right now all we needed was each other. And maybe a little bit of alcohol.


Late Night Buses

“I’m sorry!” He shouted across the street as the bus went past. A bus I was meant to be on.
“What?!” I shouted back, tears falling in utter frustration.
“I said I’m sor-”
I cut him off. “I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES IT OKAY? YOU CHEATED. You cheated on me.” I couldn’t do this anymore. Why was I still standing there? He’s not worth anymore of my time.
“Why didn’t you get on the bus?” He said, not having to shout anymore as he crossed the road.
“What?” I barely croaked, feeling as though the bus was about to collide with me. Every step he took felt like one more closer to my end.
“If you hate me so much, why aren’t you on that bus now? What’s left for you here but me?” he said, almost choking as his hand lifted as though to touch me, before residing back at his side.
“That – that isn’t what matters here. Stop trying to distract me, you’re only delaying the inevitable. I feel as though I don’t even know you anymore.”
“You do know me though! That’s why you know that you have to understand it was an accident, I didn’t mean -”
“You accidently put your dick in someone. Oh you slipped, was that it?” I countered, the tears falling harder with every word he spoke. It was getting harder to breath.
“You won’t try and see reason in this state. You need to go home and sleep on it.” He replied, acting as though he knew what was best for me. All apologetic smiles.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore. We’re finished. You catch that? Or are you too busy daydreaming about all the other sluts you can win over with your ‘charm’ next. Well good luck with that. Enjoy your pointless existence. Screw that. I hope you HATE the rest of your life.”




City Spots

The city looked beautiful from up here, I noted feeling content as I turned to him smiling.
“Not bad. Is this where you bring all your lovers?”
He smirked, taking another drag of his cigarette, “Would it make it less special if I said yes?”
“Nope. It’s a great spot. Might use this in the future,” I countered taking the cigarette to put between my teeth.
He turned to face me fully now, eyes glancing down to my mouth for a brief second. “The future? I might have you pay rent if you intend on bringing anyone up here.”
Laughing, I leant in, “Well you’ll just have to keep me busy enough, I won’t have time for anyone else.”
“Oh I know plenty ways we can keep busy,” he whispered finally leaning down for a kiss.
Turning my head away at the last second I leant in to his ear, “and I’ll have to keep you wanting won’t I?”



“You better start running” he growled.
I started to back away, heart racing looking for anything to use as a weapon. There was nothing.
I turned and ran – sprinted – through the house. The party was in full swing. Lights flashing, bodies coating in sweat riving against each other with the sound of grime causing deafness. It was suffocating. Even the walls seemed to be alive with the shadows of people.
Squeezing my way through people, I didn’t stop to apologise to couples as I pushed them apart. He was right behind me. He was going to catch me, kill me. I had to run. RUN. The exit was in site, looking like the gates to Heaven’s doorstep as the streetlights blazed through. Finally managing to push past the last body I flew through the door.
I stopped to catch my breath and glanced back for a second. There was no one there. In fact there wasn’t a person in sight, no pursuer nor a drunk teenager.
“What?” I whispered before I fell.



“Lets go”
“We-we can’t just get up and leave. I have things – people – tying me down here,” she replied laughing at him.
He sighed taking her hands in his, noting her chipped nail varnish, “haven’t you ever wanted to be free before? Let’s leave this small town, these small minded people. The world is for us to explore. What’s the point in living if we don’t get to experience life?”
She bit her lip contemplatively knowing she’d give in. She always did with him.
“Ok”, she whispered, bringing a hand to his cheek, noting how it flushed. ” When do we leave?”